Try explaining that to the grandkids.

Try explaining that to the grandkids.

February 24, 2009, 6:34 pm
Filed under: Inked, Such a quandry, What were they thinking?

Since I was young, I’ve had an affinity for tattoos. I knew that one day, without a doubt, I would get one and at 22 years old, I finally did.

Less than two years later – a few months shy of my 24th birthday with two works of ink on my body – I’m contemplating a third (though it may not happen for quite some time). And with the concept in my head, I headed over to The Google in search of a pristine tattoo photo that would capture the ideas swirling in my mind. After all, if the image will be permanently placed on some portion of my body, you damn well better believe I’ll make certain that illustration accurately reflects the tattoo’s meaning.

Somehow, however, I stumbled upon the world’s most ridiculous tattoo portraits and felt this utter urge to share those images with you fine folks.

BMEink.com is a great venue for viewing the mistakes tattoos others have chosen to eternally etch onto their skin and even get a few ideas if you’re one of those people venturing into the parlor just wanting to get inked. And it was on their site that I found these gems. My commentary is a MUST. My sincerest laughter apologies if one of these happen to be you…

 

 Al Bundy

Sure, “Married with Children” was quite funny, but I thought dudes primarily tuned in for Christina Applegate … not Ed O’Neill. I just wish I knew what was going through the mind of this individual when he/she decided to tattoo the face of “NO MAAM” to his/her arm (maybe it’s a leg? who knows!). Regardless, that is not a face I’d like to wake up to each morning. No thank you.

 

  

 

 Lil Wayne

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have always found lyrics such as, “Shawty wanna thug / Bottles in the club / Shawty wanna hump / You know I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps” terribly inspirational. And apparently, so did the individual who chose this face only a mother could love as a permanent display of his feelings. Or maybe this dude just wants to be like Lil Wayne and “make it rain on them hoes.” Who knows.

 

 

 

 

‘Ol Dirty Bastard

I suppose if you strangely insist on getting a tattoo of ‘Ol Dirty Bastard, your armpit seems like a wise placement decision. I cannot imagine that felt too hot getting tattoed though. I hope homedude wasn’t ticklish.

 

 

   

 

Pee-wee Herman

I wish I could tell you that this was an odd find, but alas, it was not. Pee-wee Herman must be a rather popular tattoo choice as this image was just one of several on the single Web site I perused for crazy portraits. And while Pee-wee was most definitely a significant figure in most of our childhood days, you simply have to look past the character and remember you just put Paul Reubens, a man arrested for public masturbation, on your arm. That should be a fun story for the kiddos.

 

 

 The Joker

Undoubtedly, this is masterfully done. The tattoo artist did a fabulous job, without question. But … really?! I can’t help but wonder if this man decided to tattoo half of his upper body with this face because of the Batman villain or Heath Ledger. I suppose that question could be asked of the dozens of individuals I found online with this tattoo. Yep, dozens. Nutty. 

 

Catwoman

Yes, another Batman character, but this one is from the good ole’ Michael Keaton days. What on earth prompted someone to request Catwoman is way beyond my realm of thought – unless she’s the woman on the corner with a bazillion kittens who lives alone and quietly weeps about her life every night – but at least this person chose Michelle Pfeiffer over Halle Berry (don’t argue with me people, we all know old school Catwoman was 10x better than the newer version).

 

  

 

Dwight Schrute

By now, if you’re a regular reader of A MinD in MoTown – so all three of you – you realize my slight disdain love for The Office, thus I simply had to comment on this colorful tattoo. I can admit it’s very well done – kudos to the artist – but Dwight is, well, a moron. I may not be a fan of the show, yet I’ve watched enough to realize this tidbit and the reasoning behind anyone choosing this portrayal as a permanent bodily emblem is far outside any comprehension whatsoever.

 

  

There are so many more tattoos I could share with you – someone’s “Bills” (that’d be Murray and Cosby), the Gerber Baby, way too many Eddie Munsters, some Mr. Bean, the ink-version of Scarlett Johansson, a bottle of Heinz 57 ketchup, Napoleon Dynamite, Corey Feldman (why oh why!?), and one titled “Einstein Jesus” – but that’s simply going to take far more time and effort than I’m willing to put forward at the moment (so click the links).

…Did I mention the full-back advertisement for The Shawshank Redemption? No? Oops.

I suppose these tattoos truly prove the options are endless when permanently etching an image onto your skin. And while these were all created with amazing accuracy and detail – no lie, almost all of them are rather beautiful – I still cannot help but ask “why?” for each. I just hope the proud owner’s of these works of art aren’t banging their heads against the wall, questioning their own motives 50 years from now when armpiece Rodney Dangerfield has even more wrinkles.

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