A MinD in MoTown

Please leave a message after the tone.
July 7, 2010, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Just whatever

What the hell are you still doing over here? Everybody else left long ago… It’s true. This blog is no more.

But hey, on the bright side, you can find the lovely blogger Mindy over at Behind the Byline now. So scoot on over there asap. I’m serious. Get your ass in gear and go read what awesomeness she’s been spewing lately.

Sooner or later.

I’m not exactly the type of girl to have every moment of every day pre-planned. It’s actually rare for me to have plans whatsoever. And I certainly don’t mind living by the seat of my pants sometimes. However, when it comes to big-ticket items – events, holidays, milestones, deadlines for much-needed information, etc. – I prefer things written in stone well in advance.

One thing I practically loathe is the word “soon.” How vague is “soon”? And by whose definition does that follow? Because, as I have learned time and time again – including this most recent stint as I await a vital email from my graduate program coordinator – my perception of “soon” is clearly quite truncated from the designation of others.

What fairly-vague terms do you hate, and why? “Soon” is definitely high on my list!

Grappling with my blog-identity.
March 23, 2010, 4:40 pm
Filed under: Help a girl out, Just whatever, Such a quandry

I’m not the first blogger to come forward and ask her readers for help, nor will I be the last. But I’m turning to you guys – those who know this blog-version of myself – because you’re likely the best people to aid me now.

Like so many others, I’m struggling a bit with who I am as a blogger. This “identity crisis,” if you will, comes at a time where I’m actively looking to move to my own .com and create a permanent fixture in the blogosphere. I’ve been here at “A MinD in MoTown” for nearly two years, but now that I’m no longer a MoTown resident and contemplating this big blogosphere move, it’s time to discover who the blogger behind the girl truly is.

The good news in all of this is that I have no plans to quit anytime soon, as others in my shoes may have before. Rather, I’m looking for assistance in a “theme” – best word I can think of this moment – that would accurately portray who I am and what I want my blog to be. What is that exactly? Well, here’s a rundown/recap – including links to various posts – for those who may not read regularly:

I guess when it truly comes down to it, I use this little forum for a variety of things, be it my personal opinion on the Twilight series, a discussion on tattoos, or a story about my boyfriend being a turd-face. How exactly does one sum that up into an umbrella theme for a blog though?

That’s where you come in. I’m open to any and all ideas in the hopes of finding something awesome out there. I have a few ideas swirling in my brain, but nothing that’s stood out just yet.

So help me out and leave some comments – or shoot me an email (bottom left). I’m begging for your assistance here!!

Three year itch.
December 1, 2009, 4:19 pm
Filed under: I could use some help here, Just whatever, Perhaps I am a bit strange

As I slowly approach the two-year mark with my current boyfriend, it’s tough not to think about this same point in previous relationships.

I don’t remember being unhappy or restless, and I’m not right now either. But at this exact moment with my two previous long-term boyfriends, the relationships were already on the downward slide.

I have what I like to call “the three year curse.” Near that particular anniversary, something triggers and my need to escape becomes dire. The +/- six months surrounding year number three cause immense anxiety on my part and fleeing remains the only option.

My high school boyfriend? I’d say it was at the 2.5 year mark where I called it quits, yet we stayed fairly attached for the few months that followed. However, approximately two months before that poignant anniversary, I bid him adieu and that relationship was officially over.

My college boyfriend? We met during my fall semester sophomore year and stayed together one month longer than the three-year point. He and I even moved 500 miles together to the great state of North Carolina where, less than a year later, I broke it off – though I suppose it was somewhat mutual, but that’s another story for another time or never. He swiftly returned to Pennsylvania following “the divorce” and splitting of our belongings*.

Now here I sit, exceptionally happy with this man in my life, yet completely fearful that only a few months down the road I’ll start cultivating problems in my head and trying to make my departure. And damn it, I don’t want this to end! So I’m attempting to recognize the problem – if it is one – now and ensure that he’s fully aware of “the curse” in the hopes that we can tackle and overcome it together. Because seriously, if this boy makes it to the four-year mark, I’m counting it as a miracle and forcing him to marry me**.

Am I the only one who has this issue when it comes to relationships? I mean, clearly I’ve heard of men who can’t commit for more than a few months, but three years seems like an odd point to leave it all behind. My mother once said that I “chase butterflies,” and once a relationship hits the comfortable point and the guy no longer makes me feel like I’m consistently floating on Cloud 9, I feel the need to find someone new who can. I’m not entirely sure I believe that theory, despite it’s plausibility***.

What do you think? What exactly, if anything, can break the curse I seem to have? Am I just turning a coincidence into something bigger than it truly is? Or is it actually possible my mom’s right in her speculations?

* I still wish I got the red steak knives that would perfectly match my kitchen. But meh, I got the Wii, the washer and the dryer. You win some, you lose some.
** Well, not “forcing.” I guess you can say I’m somewhat apprehensive about becoming engaged before hitting four years for fear that “the curse” will prevail. =/
*** That’s a word, right?

Oink. Oink.
November 2, 2009, 5:01 pm
Filed under: Just whatever, News Girl, Perhaps I am a bit strange, The swine

The sore throat started Oct. 11. A really dry cough started developing last weekend. And by Friday, the day before Halloween, I’d been regularly hacking up a lung for nearly six days. It was time to see the doctor.

And what was my diagnosis? I HAD THE SWINE!

Not once in those three weeks had it even remotely dawned on me that I had the flu, let alone H1N1. Sure, I spent quite a few days feeling not-so-awesome, but I seemingly attributed every single symptom to something else, causing me to completely ignore the virus stewing in my system. And in that time, the bug that is receiving far too much hype in the media* did its business then went along on its merry way.

That’s right, I ignored the swine flu and it disappeared all on its own, which makes me wonder why exactly people are freaking out about this virus as if it’s going to wipe out half of all humanity. People die every year from the regular flu, yet few people stop to even consider that before talking about the new pandemic facing society. Perhaps we all just need to calm down a bit … and ignore its existence as I did!

When I had body aches, I figured it was my persistence at the gym finally paying off. The migraines? Something typical for me. And the nausea? A result of the headache, of course. The cough and horribly sore throat was just a minor cold I picked up during my Penn State visit. But the fever? Well, I was having some blood-sugar level issues lately, so I just assumed that was to blame considering I felt a bit better after eating.

Not one of the symptoms stuck out to me as something unusual for my daily life mostly because they weren’t all affecting me at the same time. The fever seemed to come and go occasionally in the three weeks. The sore throat slowly became the cough, both never occurring together. The nausea and migraine arrived hand in hand, but my headaches sometimes progress to the point of physical sickness due to the pain. I seriously never even considered something bigger was to blame for how wretched I felt, on and off, since leaving Pennsylvania in mid-October.

Although the doctor cannot definitively confirm that I had H1N1 – whatever virus I did have, that or otherwise, is seemingly gone – she was fairly certain of my diagnosis after we sifted through all the symptoms. Apparently the wretched cough that’s been plaguing me for more than a week now is a lingering side effect of the flu. (Boo hiss, for sure.) After some over-the-counter medicinal suggestions and a prescription for some heavy-dosage cough syrup – to help me sleep because the cough has been preventing me from getting more than two hours of ZzZzs at a time – the doctor told me I wasn’t contagious and could go about my daily business without worry. Sure, I most likely did have H1N1 at some point, but it dissipated over the three weeks and I wasn’t a threat to anyone else, though I can’t help but wonder ever so slightly even anyone caught my mild case of the swine**… Hm…

The news industry has been inundated with H1N1 Influenza A reports for months now. And it seems that regardless of what media outlets say, or don’t say, the public is consistently fearful of this flu, even refusing its vaccine because of supposed potential side effects. And I, for one, find this entirely ridiculous. After all, I didn’t even know I had the swine flu and my immune system bounced back, fighting it off without antibiotics. I bet I could’ve avoided it all – including this annoying cough – if I simply had the vaccine.

A school district employee said it best at last month’s school board meeting, “This is just another type of flu we’re going to have to get used to.” Such an on-point statement. Although this particular strain is new and has caused death and severe sickness among some, the seasonal flu we’ve all become accustomed to at this point has done the same year after year and yet the panic surrounding it seems little. I think it’s about damn time we all take a big step back and look at the situation and realize that many people can have mild versions of H1N1 and be perfectly fine following a few crappy days. Sure, some people are prone to having something like the seasonal flu or H1N1 wreak havoc and cause more damage to their system. Maybe it’s time we all cease the fear and go about our daily lives, just listing this particular flu as another potential demon of winter. Because really, it’s not much more than that if you ask me.

* For me to technically be part of the media and say this is quite a big deal folks.
** I know, for certain, that the boyfriend doesn’t have any version of the flu and he is, by far, the most likely candidate. Actually, he started feeling terribly ill last Wednesday and by Thursday night, he thought he had the flu. He went to the doctor Friday morning to find out what he could do about it, but they said he didn’t have the flu. He had strep throat. Upon hearing that, I assumed that was what had been bothering me for the three weeks so I made a doctor’s appointment. But I didn’t have strep – I even asked for a throat culture to ensure I did not. So we were both sick, with different things, and didn’t pass it on to the other. Bizarre, right?

My pen is emotionally charged.

It’s amazing how little I have to say when things in my life are going really well. Sometimes I wonder if all the creativity or writing abilities I contain are hinged on disaster, disappointment, anger, or strong reactions to the world around me. But when life is simple, ordinary and filled with contentment, I’m without words worth writing*.

So what exactly has me fairly blissful these days? Let’s get a bit more personal than usual and delve into some bullet points…

  • My mom is moving to town! In late May, my stepfather moved here for a job with hopes that my mother would soon follow. For a while, she had trouble finding a job, but she was recently hired here in MoTown and will be relocating mid-August. And by “relocating,” I mean I have to fly to Pennsylvania on a Thursday and accompany her Saturday for the drive to NC. It’s okay though, she’s worth it!
  • Boyfriend and I are superbly happy! Like in most relationships, we hit a rough patch where we argued way more than necessary. But for several weeks now, it’s been fight-free and back to cloud 9. With that said, a big thanks to Kendall for listening to my lamentation at least once during the not-so-fun days.
  • I just celebrated my 24th birthday and who doesn’t love their own birthday? Well, before the age of insert the age you most fear here, of course.
  • Although I make little money and, between both jobs, I keep quite busy, work as a whole is going smoothly. Usually summer is a bit slower for news stories – at least in this region – but I’ve had enough to keep me busy without finding myself overwhelmed. (Edited and deleted something here so as to not unnecessarily hurt someone’s feelings…) It’s the little things, after all, that make one happy!
  • For a long time – sporadically – I felt like I didn’t truly have friends here. Aquaintances, sure, but not real friends I could regularly hang out with or count on for much of anything. That notion has been proven wrong within the last month or so, and it’s an amazing feeling to actually feel more of a connection to not only my “new” life, but the people within it.
  • VACATION IN TWO DAYS!!! That’s right. On Thursday morning I will pack up my car and head to Virginia Beach for a long weekend with two of my best friends from high school. We’ve been waiting months for this trip and it seriously cannot arrive soon enough.

I’m not one to complain because my life has been rather awesome lately, but it obviously causes some writing difficulties on my end. I’m sure it doesn’t help that my Google Reader has been busting at the seams lately as well, making me want to read more than write.

But the GReader is finally empty – unless someone has updated within the last 15 minutes – and I’m here just to say my life is currently ahh-mayyy-zing! And it’s about damn time I remarked about the good rather than the bad.

* Whoa. Alliteration FTW.

They say “you can always go home,” but what if you don’t know where that is?
May 5, 2009, 2:52 pm
Filed under: Just whatever, Scrantonia, Such a quandry

Does there come a point where “home” is no longer the place you grew up?

I’ve always considered Scranton my “home.” It’s not just my hometown, but it’s where nearly my entire family is, where I spent the vast majority of my life and where I envisioned myself visiting every year, mulitple times perhaps, for as long as I lived.

That small corner of Pennsylvania is the place where I hold more memories than I could list, from my first kiss to my first car, my first job and my first love, the bestest of friends and the worst of them at the same time. I remain defensive of that place – i.e. The Office and one SNL skit in particular (::coughcoughJoeBidencoughcough::) – and yet proud of its accomplishments, regularly reading the news that streams from “The Electric City.”

And yet, the last few weeks have made me realize the detachment that truly exists.

Without spilling paragraphs of babble onto the page, in a nutshell, my parents are moving to Mooresville, NC. Yep, my mom and step-dad (I consider them my “parents” despite my dad and step-mom) will soon be relocating their lives to the place I settled into two years ago this month.

And with that move, I foresee fewer visits to Scranton. I can already sense less of an urgency to travel the 500 miles to see those familiar faces and sites, which is unfortunate because there is truly so much I love about that place. Yet part of me knows – not just “feels,” but undoubtedly knows – that very few of those people, sans my family (so I hope), will ever make the effort to venture to NC for me. It’s sad, but true, and as a result, I can’t help but think to myself, “why should I bother making the effort for them if they wouldn’t do the same for me?”

Maybe I’m being selfish. Perhaps a little juvenile as well. But that’s sincerely how I feel about the situation. I digress…

My mom is my best friend, hands down, and with her here in addition to my step-dad and possibly my brother in another year, my reasons for traveling north diminish. If they weren’t heading to Scranton for Christmas, would I go without them? Doubtful. Would I ever drive nine-hours for a holiday if my closest family was in my own backyard? Unlikely. And with all of those thoughts, I sense a strong disconnect to that “home” and an eagerness to share this new one with my family.

Is that strange? Is this temporary? Is my stance entirely skewed toward selfishness (especially considering the majority of my family will still be in Scranton)? Or is this all a natural, yet exceptionally unfamiliar, part of venturing away from the nest, creating a new home and growing up?

Someone, somewhere coined the phrase “home is where the heart is.” Is it possible that my heart is with my mom and home will forever be wherever she is? ‘Cause right now, that seems the most fathomable deduction.

Can anyone out there explain this emotional progression to me, because clearly I’m one confused 20-something.