“Perhaps” is a fancy “maybe,” and isn’t life little more than one “maybe” or another? Maybe you’ll get married, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have kids, maybe you won’t. Maybe your dreams will come true, maybe they won’t. Maybe you’ll die tomorrow, maybe you won’t. And all of those maybes are interchangeable with its fancy synonym – perhaps. So I wanted it tattooed.The tattoo artist, Noel (a dude), kept telling me I was selfish for wanting my tattoo to face the direction it does. After all, he said, wouldn’t I want others to more easily read it? But I’m the one who has to look at it for the rest of my life, no one else, and I wanted the ability to simply turn my wrist and see that one word right-side up, not upside-down.
I carefully watched as Noel tattooed each line and letter with such preciseness. It was the first time I watched myself get tattooed. The bit of pain and my slight anxiety over getting my first tattoo kept me from watching as the Penn State Nittany Lion paws were carved into my foot. And with the Beatles lyrics, well, it’s more than a bit difficult to watch the back of your neck get inked. But this one? I was able to watch and tweet, omgiamlame, the entire time and snap a few photos with my phone as well.
After 20-30 minutes, and zero pain**, there it was. “Perhaps,” all lowercase, forever on the inside of my left wrist. And although it’s a bit bolder and bigger than I had originally imagined, I absolutely adore it.* What? You can have a favorite number, but not a favorite word? Baloney. My life is about words, so I naturally have a favorite. And yes, this makes me a total nerd.
** No lie. This is my third tattoo and only one, my first on my left foot, actually hurt.
Who would have thought that Iowa – a state in the heartland of America – would allow same-sex marriages before dozens and dozens of other states (and especially before California!?)? Not me, that’s for sure, but it’s clearly another huge step for gay marriage and I could not be happier about that!
Iowans…you’ve done quite well and have something to be crazy proud of today!
But a small note to Rev. Keith Ratliff, Sr. of Des Moines’ Maple Street Baptist Church: I hope you find yourself rotting in hell for your eternal life for calling homosexuality a “perversion.” Better yet, I hope you live to see the day where America as a whole not just allows, but welcomes gay marriage. It will happen. Mark my words, it will happen.
Once upon a time, I considered myself a writer. Not a reporter, not a journalist, but just some girl who wanted nothing more than a pen and paper in her hands at all times.
And then I graduated college and the real world beckoned. No longer was I able to muster up the words once I settled into my full-time position. Every syllable was AP Style and news related. The creative side disappeared, seemingly, and I became complacent with living in the present, writing in regard to columns and inches, stuck within the boundaries and constraints of the front page.
Then I started this blog and found my voice again; I rekindled my ability to think outside the box and discuss my personal opinions, as opposed to always remaining objective. And for several months, this filled that void, that piece of me I knew was missing, yet couldn’t quite get back. Until recently, that is, when the void reappeared. Smaller, yes, but still echoing a need for my poetic side, my imaginative side, the girl I was before receiving my diplomas.
And though I never truly believed that that portion of me was gone, it’d been a long time since I was proud enough of something I wrote to share it. Coming from me, that’s a pretty big deal. One of my poems was painted on the wall of my high school when I was a senior, and my creative writing class even published a book back in the day – although I completely look at that work of mine as entirely unpolished, but you’ll have that nearly seven years later.
I just knew I missed her and missed that ability to have a completely random thought become a page or several of verse that I was forced to write down in that precise moment. And so, two weeks ago, I pulled out a pen and a completely clean leather-bound notebook, previously tucked away in my humble desk drawer, and left it within easy reach. Before I knew it, I was writing segments of “future” novels, pieces of my own memoir, and the first poem I have written in at least three years.
It’s untitled – as most of my works typically are – but I wanted to share. Sorry for the long banter leading up to this…
She scribbles on the page–
The written word nearly forgotten–
Struggling to regain that love,
That melodic flow,
That poetic tone
She once so easily found.
The letters stutter
And the pen moves more slowly
Across her blank canvas.
Determined to return to her former passion
She fills journal after journal,
Tossing each to the wayside,
Claiming nothing is as beautiful
As she so fondly recalls.
Yet each word is there,
Recounting that love, that flow, that tone,
And only untainted eyes–
Eyes previously unaware of her humble talent–
Can truly recognize that tale
Her scribbles unfold.
It is within those words that her livelihood lies,
Among the erased syllables and forgotten thoughts.
It is upon those pages
Her love, her flow, her tone are embossed
And her true voice is found
I suppose if you shoved me in a genre, it’d be poetry although I tend to write other genres as well. Poetry, however, seems to flow more naturally … even if, like journalism, the market for it is ever so slim. I’ve yet to decide if sharing what I write will become a norm or not on this blog, so if you think it should be or it’s something you folks are interested in, let me know and I’ll definitely consider that while deciding if this is a personal venue my blog should continue to explore.
Any comments – both critical and constructive – are so very welcome and much appreciated. It’s been a very long time since others have read a poem I’ve written and feedback would be fabulous.
Folks, I finally did it. After several months of blogging and enveloping myself within the blogosphere – as I like to refer to it – I caved in and created my own Google Reader subscription list.
For a long time, I was fighting this trend. I assumed, stupidly, I’d be able to keep up with all the blogs I loved with no trouble, just meandering to the writers’ pages when a free moment allowed. I foolishly thought that not having a reader would give me more freedom exploring the ‘sphere and discovering hidden gems among the masses of blogs out there. I seriously somehow believed I’d be better off without a reader, without its constraints, wandering aimlessly around from page to page and never missing a beat.
…But, I’m here to admit I was terribly wrong. Blogs I once loved would fall to the wayside as links to their little piece of the Internet weren’t as easily accessible. And then I’d miss one entry and feel lost and confused when said post was referred to more recently. And instead of finding great new blogs to follow, I’d spend my time playing “catch up” on what I’ve missed in the worlds of those I already felt a loyalty toward.
And so, I’ve succumbed to Google Reader at last. No longer shall I miss a play-by-play recap of MTV’s latest “Bromance” episode, no more shall I overlook someone’s day of FAIL, and never again will I quickly peruse through whatever hilarious drivel rs27 has taken three whole minutes to share with society.
It’s about damn time I was a better blogger – I’m optimistically going to post more frequently because seriously folks, I’m lacking like whoa – and a better blog-reader. Maybe the wonderous world of Goodle Reader will help me do that.
…Or maybe, and this is a strong possibility, I’ll be yet another girl in the blogosphere who is marking all as “read” when inundated with hundreds of posts. Eep. Let’s aim high for the former!
The amazing Kendall has bestowed an award upon me (your $20 is in the mail), and so I’ve been assigned the task of passing it along.
As with everything in life, there are stipulations – two rules, to be exact. First, I must list six things I love and then choose six worthy individuals to pass the Kreativ Blogger Award to next, perpetuating the cycle.
Since I’m in a slump, and completely unsure of my next blog entry, I may as well go to town here and see if I’m inspired to write today:
Things I love…
- My little sister. She’s not technically “a thing,” but she’s pretty darn awesome. She’s almost 4-1/2 years old and growing up so quickly! Just because she’s 500 miles away doesn’t mean I don’t love and miss her like crazy, and I really cannot wait to see the person she eventually becomes.
- Silly faces. If you check me out on Facebook or even catch a glimpse of me “in the real world,” I’m always sticking out my tongue, crossing my eyes or puffing out my cheeks in an attempt to make someone smile. Yea, I could probably just grin and the person might return the gesture, but it’s more fun – for me anyway – to hear a little giggle and see a genuine upturn of one’s mouth.
- One Tree Hill. Okay, a television show can be “a thing” as far as I’m concerned, and I will admit I’m highly obsessed. I have seasons one and two on DVD (with three, four and five expected this Christmas). I also plan to drive my butt to Wilmington, NC where it’s filmed – approximately four hours away – and check out the various locations. Sometimes, I’m still 15 years old…
- Post-it notes. Simple, yet amazing. I can never have enough.
- Maple syrup on scrambled eggs. Okay okay, I was struggling a bit to come up with a fifth one that was a little less than typical. But it’s true, and it’s the only way I eat my scrambled eggs. Ha.
- Heavy snowfall in the middle of the night. I may live in the South now – and part of moving here was to avoid snow/ice – but when snow would fall around 3 a.m. and few, if any, cars or people were on the road, this crystal sheet of white would just encompass everything, glistening so brightly in the otherwise dark sky. So beautiful, and something I definitely miss about Pennsylvania.
And to pass this award to other deserving members of the blogging community, I give this to:
- Jack and Jill Online because their blog helps define “kreativ.”
- Your Beard is Good – even though I’m sure he won’t pass it along. He’s hilarious, enough said.
- The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy. Lives in NC, an absolute riot, and I cannot believe she hasn’t made the big bucks yet through her comedic blogging capabilities.
- Your Girlfriend is Ugly. She is sarcastic and can recount her observations and life in an amazingly readable/enjoyable manner. Love it.
- The Almost Right Word is awesome because the blogger continually recommends, reviews and discusses topics that pertain to a wide audience. Highly recommend checking it out.
- [F]oxymoron has a unique layout for his blog with a great means of tackling a variety of topics at once and through different media including both regular blogging and photography.
Go forth and conquer folks, and check out those blogs. They are definitely some of my favorites – some of which I have yet to, but will soon be, adding to my blogroll due to my inability to stay away from perusing all too often!
And thanks again to Kendall. =)
And so, today marks one year at the newspaper. A year of writing about school activites and board meetings, new playgrounds and deceased town officials, monuments and pet cemeteries. Have I yet made my own little mark on Mooresville? Perhaps, but there are at least a few more years ahead of me at the Tribune, and maybe, just maybe, people will start remembering my name (if I’m called Megan or Melissa one more time, I may scream.).
So, how shall I celebrate this occasion? With a vacation, of course! (Okay, the two just happen to coincide, but it worked well as a lead-in.)
As of tomorrow morning, I’ll be basking in the sun of North Carolina’s Outer Banks – Kitty Hawk, to be precise, where I’ll likely check out the Wright brothers’ museum for the second time – where it will unfortunately be a pleasant three to five degrees cooler than my town nestled six hours inland. Oh well, I will make the best of my last work-break until Christmas regardless.
And so, I leave you all (the five to six folks who might check this blog out) with something I should have done days ago: the Kick Ass Blogger awards.
As was bestowed upon me by Lauren – thanks doll! – I will pass it along to five others who I can’t help but check out on a regular, perhaps daily, venture to my work computer.
- Mindy (I just love that name!) @ mindy does minneapolis
- So@24 (not sure of his real name) @ Starting Over at 24
- Matt (ya ya, Lauren did, too, but he kinda rocks) @ A View From 5280Ft
- “Gertrude” (I think it’s Emmi?) @ Gertrude Granny Panties
- “Haute” (um, I’m clearly bad with names…) @ haute.pocket
They are all to the left as well, ’cause clearly I’m checking them out regularly myself, but I highly suggest you do, too – if you aren’t already, of course! And this lovely award ceremony was brought to you by MammaDawg, so head over there or her Kick Ass Blogger Award page and check it out.
I’ll be back Friday, Aug. 22, since I’m sure everyone is eagerly anticipating my return. I may or may not bring my laptop to the beach – assuming the latter at this point though – but I’m around on Twitter (via my cellular device) if missing me becomes too much.
Have a great week, and people, please don’t blog too much! I might actually have to do work when I’m back at the office. (Who am I kidding?)