A MinD in MoTown

Why I hate the Girl Scouts.
February 24, 2010, 12:52 pm
Filed under: Foodage, Way too much thought went into this, Yummy

It was nearly two weeks ago, but I still remember that evening vividly.

I was curled up on the couch, empty bowl in hand that once contained some delicious chicken and rice. I set the bowl on my coffee table and took another swig of my Coca-Cola. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it — the green box, taunting me as it scarcely peeked out of my purse. I tried to look away, attempting to forget the momentary vision and the saliva that was already forming in my mouth. But it was too late.

Half an hour later, all that remained was the empty foil, the remnants of a formerly filled sleeve of Thin Mint cookies. My shame was heavy, my stomach full. What began as a meager hope to help a coworker’s daughter ended with nearly 700 calories I simply did not need. And another sleeve awaited…

While other organizations are out there, regularly discussing the hazards of both adult and childhood obesity, Girl Scouts of America send demure, innocent young girls to our doorsteps, peddling cookie-deliciousness containing more calories than one should likely consume in a typical day. And at $3.50 per box, we fall for their schemes, thinking of little more than the mouth-watering goodness that awaits. Sure, we may pretend that we’re merely making a purchase to aid some child attain a merit badge that will undoubtedly end up in a drawer seven years from now, collecting dust. But we’re all in it for one thing: The delectable Caramel deLites (aka Samoas), the scrumptious Peanut Butter Patties (aka Tagalongs) and the chocolatey goodness known as Thin Mints, my true weakness.

Despite any hopes we carried into the new year of fitting into our jeans that became a bit-too-tight over the holiday season, the Girl Scouts strip us of our desires, reminding us that their season of choice – Cookie Season – lies just around the corner. And as February arrives and we finally pull those size 4 jeans out of the closet, watching them glide easily over our thighs, butt and waist, those girls in brown and green appear to remind us that our bodies are meant for a size 6 forevermore.

I entered that evening with a skewed thought process – “If I just eat them all now, they won’t taunt me any longer. I must make the entire sleeve of cookies disappear.” – but I carry it no more. Those little ladies won’t fool me. I know the damage their cookies can cause and damn it, I refuse to be a victim ever again!


Break me off a piece of that … Kit-Kat bar, of course!
April 17, 2009, 2:08 pm
Filed under: I watch too much TV, Yummy

There’s a good possibility I’m addicted to reality TV. I may not watch every show within the genre – such as From G’s to Gents, American Idol and anything on CBS – but my television wanders to reality shows more often than not, and I can’t always pinpoint why.

Sure, the drama isn’t staged and overly melodramatic like scripted television. That’s most certainly part of the appeal. But I think the other part is … well, screw it. There’s no point to today’s blog. I really just wanted some banter before posting this picture:


Landon Lueck – the fine hunk of man you see above* – is back!!!!!!! And yes, a picture that large was necessary, thank you very much.

As a Real World Season 15 (Philadelphia) alumni, he’s graced my television a few times in various landon21MTV challenges before disappearing in 2005 following The Gauntlet II. But now, I could not be more excited that this nearly-30 year old is flaunting his hotness again on a weekly basis with the Duel II.

Would I probably watch the show even if his gorgeous self wasn’t there? That’s a strong possibility. But that body, oh that body, and his smile keep my ass firmly planted on the couch and in front of my 32-inch flatscreen TV at least one night per week.

So okay ladies – and fellas, of course – what reality TV stars make you swoon? …Oh, and you aren’t allowed to pick Landon. I called dibs.

* That is, if you even waited to look at the sexiness before reading. $10 says you didn’t. I wouldn’t have read a single word without staring looking at that picture first.