A MinD in MoTown

Grace in Small Things: 26/365
May 15, 2009, 12:27 pm
Filed under: Grace in Small Things

I hesitated to share this, but then I remembered the “real life” friends I have that read this blog and how little I truly talk about me and my life, so I decided to do so.

I’ve been inconsistently working on my Grace in Small Things for a few months now, and yesterday was a day where it was practically vital that I turned to it. I vaguely posted this news on my Twitter after it happened, but quickly changed my mind and deleted the update.

I’m not seeking sympathy, and to all of you who would comment with your “Good lucks,” I thank you in advance. Here’s my GiST from yesterday:

Today was, well, a bit depressing. When the OBGYN calls you two weeks after your annual papsmear, the news is never good. I made an appointment for Monday to have everything checked more closely – bet that’ll be a ton of fun! – and with any luck, I’ll be fine. Actually, I ought to be, but the words “precancerous” aren’t exactly ones anyone ever wants to hear.

…Today, I need GiST.

1. The doctor said I “have no reason to worry.” And although I am worrying anyway, I’m truly hoping that she’s right.
2. I have an amazing boyfriend who will sit with me on the phone (while I’m at work) ’til I’m done crying and has been calling every so often today to make sure I’m doing okay, mentally of course.
3. Grey’s finale tonight. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.
4. I’ve been eating healthier and it’s been making me look at myself in the mirror a bit differently, even if I haven’t shed any pounds yet.
5. I’m not pregnant. When the OBGYN called, that was my biggest fear, as sad as it sounds. But my financial situation makes it impossible to adequately raise a child and although I never even momentarily thought I was preggers, the thought crossed my mind when she called. I am glad that isn’t the bad news she shared.

Grace in Small Things: 1/365
February 23, 2009, 12:54 pm
Filed under: Grace in Small Things

For three days, I fought off a stress migraine that finally erupted into pure pain my entire Sunday, i.e. my only day off, and I’m trying my damnedest to avoid reaching for the Excedrin bottle at the moment for the minor tension I feel within my skull yet again.

The idea of having twice the amount of work – another reporter is leaving the newspaper and because the company has ceased its hiring, my workload will increase immensely – yet earning fewer dollars due to these furloughs is causing me a lot of grief, anger, sadness and frustration, all of which are making me entirely rethink not only my place within this company, but my life here in North Carolina.

And after wrestling with these thoughts for approximately a week, I’m assuming the climax of a complete meltdown is near.

When the previously mentioned coworker commented that she and her husband acquired a new TV – 42-inch flatscreen … must be nice – over the weekend, I somewhat snapped back at her and quietly broke down at my desk knowing there is currently zero possibility I’d be able to even afford a 13-inch black and white tube at the moment, let alone anything nicer. And with that reaction, I figured it was about damn time to do something about my overly pessimistic attitude since late last week.

I can’t sit here and pretend the world is fine when I find the situation rather unfair. More work, less money. Somehow I don’t recall that being what I was taught as a child, and yet that’s the circumstances I find unfolding. And as a typically optimistic, happy-go-lucky girl, this “woe is me” outlook simply does not fit. Thus, it’s time for me to jump on the bandwagon of Grace in Small Things – as I’ve seen at Stylish Handwriting and This? Is Not the Life I Ordered! – and attempt to overcome all this garbage stewing within my career before it overwhelms my personal life as well.

So here’s your first dose of my “Grace in Small Things”:

1. Somehow I’m still fortunate to have a full-time job with paid vacation and benefits.
2. A boyfriend who will take care of me when the stress has transformed into a three-day migraine.
3. Ripe bananas on the kitchen countertop.
4. Living in a region where there is no snow 97% of the year.
5. A more-than-understanding editor who realizes how important my second job truly is.

Unlike others, I may not maintain this on a daily basis, but I truly hope to complete all 365 instead of making this another one of my brilliant ideas to challenge myself that I forego within weeks. We’ll see what happens.

Note: E.P. posted a link about the Most and Least Stressful Jobs in America Today, and although my career isn’t quite as stressful as hers – journalists are 7th on the list while photojournalists rank 3rd – it’s still worth noting that my obvious stress isn’t entirely unjust or unfounded. That is all.