A MinD in MoTown


The verdict is in.
October 28, 2008, 4:47 pm
Filed under: Just whatever, The world revolves around me

You may or may not recall my run in with the law back in August during an otherwise pleasant drive to the North Carolina coast (read Policia! Policia! for more info).

Well, my verdict has arrived via the pony express following my Oct. 15 court date (continued from Sept. 15).

Aafter two months of weighing my options to avoid losing my drivers license – since a pedestrian reporter is simply not feasible – and paying a fancy lawyer nearly $400 – money that could have bought me a few new outfits, a better television, groceries for several months, or hell, even an abortion (though that wasn’t up for consideration as my womb is empty at the moment) – in addition to my court-mandated $60 online driving safety course …

… I HAVE BEEN CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES!

Okay, not exactly, but my 25+ mph speeding violation was reduced to a nonmoving violation, thus no points on my license or toward my insurance premiums  which my mother pays for me anyway, thanks to my willingness to pay everyone and their mother – [attorney + court fees + AAA (driving course) + fine] – approximately $440 in sum. My monetary fine, however, was slightly reduced, so with my letter of congratulations/thanks – for my money, not my work toward reducing the penalities, clearly – my lawyer sent a $25 refund check. Yay for dollars I expected to never see again.

And so, for now, I wash my hands of the judicial system and vow to never, ever get a speeding violation again. If I have to flash more boobs or evade the law, by golly, I will do it just to save my pennies. After all, you never know when that abortion TV purchase might come in handy.

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9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Congrats on getting your $25 back and for no insurance hikes.

Comment by Kendall

Another win for pro-choice!!!!!

Comment by Matt

I vowed the same thing 5 years ago.

It didn’t work.

Probably because I don’t have boobs.

Comment by rs27

Speeding violations suck. I was going to say, “Oh just be happy that you weren’t speeding through Arizona at 90mph in a 75 zone because in some states, going over the limit by 15mph will land you with a near $200 ticket!” But then I realized that you actually spent quite a bit more than that.

Boob-flashing time indeed.

Comment by the almost right word

If I was a cop, a boob flash would get anyone off the hook.

Maybe this is why I never went down that career path.

Comment by so@24

Woohoo!! Thank goodness you can not only still afford an abortion, but you’d be able to drive yourself to the abortion clinic!

Comment by Megkathleen

Is this proof that there is a god?

Comment by hautepocket

Awesome! I love when stuff like this turns out all right. Something similar happened to me in BR, and there was a bench warrant out for my arrest (for running a red light) because the cop wrote the wrong court date on my ticket. Yeah. That was bumped down to a nonmoving violation.

Comment by stylishhandwriting

Kendall: Thanks!

Matt: It always is in my book.

rs27: Boobs are the key. I’m willing to share.

ARW: Oh yes, the time has definitely come.

so@24: Or maybe that is exactly you should delve into that career… Think about it.

Meg: I didn’t think of that! Woohoo, indeed!

Haute: Hm, possibly. Though I think real proof would’ve came if the officer dismissed me with just a warning.

Stylish: Sweet. Good to hear you got off the hook!

Comment by amindinmotown




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