I had a blog all planned out for today – which I’ll now save for later this week – until a coworker brought an MSNBC article to my attention: Kids find paradise by the cell phone light?
Apparently little kiddies across the country – who are we kidding? the world – are texting (aka “sexting” – real creative) nude pictures of themselves to other “explorative” teenagers and they are somehow (magic anyone?) ending up on the World Wide Web. Didn’t see that one coming, huh? Bet Tommy and Pam didn’t either. I digress.
Although this was the crux of the news article/internet commentary, the writer first discusses a popular commercial that I’m sure most, if not all, of us have seen. I’m talking about the GoPhone commercial with Daddy Meat Loaf explaining to his son the uber-important cell phone purchase to the tune of his 1977 hit “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” (Note: For those somehow out-of-the-know, here’s a Wikipedia page about the song.)
And despite being born eight years after its release, I have become quite familiar with the sexually charged tune due to a mother with a strange affinity during my childhood for the man otherwise known as Marvin Lee Aday (I’d stick with Meat Loaf though, Marv). Before today, I never bothered to examine this GoPhone commercial and the strangeness that ensues throughout …
… until today’s article, which points out Tiffany (another ’80s star), ML’s wife and mother of the GoPhone recipient, carries an unwrapped leg of lamb to the garage’s fridge – which I always thought was laundry, proving how little attention I pay to commercials. Regardless, it’s strange and seemingly without purpose.
ML continues his ballad, exclaiming to his son that “we’re gonna go get you a GoPhone tonight,” to the same tune he once proclaimed his longing for premarital sex. Ah, how the times have changed! I’m not even going to mention the “pyrotechnics” and rather strange enjoyment this teenager gets as his father rocks out, masking his dashboard desires of yesteryear (oops, too late).
So why the hell am I writing this blog, which (if you’ve actually read the MSNBC article, though I doubt it) states practically the same thing? Because I wanted to embed this:
That, my friends, is the extended version of the commercial. I’m almost positive I never saw this in its entirety flash upon my screen while watching “Grey’s Anatomy” or even waiting to see Michael Phelps win Olympic gold this past weekend. And it’s substantially creepier than it’s made-for-TV counterpart.
I’m glad a song I previously associated with deflowering a girl waiting for love is now about a teenage boy badgering his father for a cellular device (don’t get an LG chocolate lad!). If only he told his father the truth – that he just wants to sext with his friends, neighbors and coworkers. Little pervert.
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